Untitled
by Sunday Serenade
Summary: A snowy Valentines Day, Horrible memories which would rather be forgotten, and a lonely Shigure. (Some Shonen-ai HatoriShigure)


** Untitled**  
By: Sunday Serenade  
  
_"A shallow face, anguished and marred.  
An empty space, scaled and scarred.  
Sweetly abiding to a cynical charade.  
Secretly hiding 'hind a fictitious facade."  
-Stanza from 'Void' written by Michael Anderson_  
  
**Friday February 14th, 1997**  
  
A light storm brewed outside of the Sohma House, in which was under Shigure Sohmas' name. Small white snowflakes drifted down from the white coloured sky above, only to land on the earth below, it a seemingly occult dance. A type of supernatural dance that brought up many memories; more that would rather be forgotten then not by the owner of the house.  
  
Shigure Sohma, now 27 years of age, sat in a less-than comfy looking chair, which had been previously moved in front of the window. He stared out into the Winter Wonderland through dark eyes, which seemed unfocused. His hair was tangled and messier than it usually was, and dark circles were clearly visible under his eyes. Another noticeable change was the now paler colour of his skin, and how his robe hung off of his thinner figure.  
  
He let out a barely audible sigh as he rested his head on his hands, which were propped up on the windowpane by his elbows. His face was not closer to the window than it had been, causing the windows to cloud up with his hot breath. Once again, like that past couple of years, he was alone. Tohru and Yuki had went out to celebrate Valentines Day, and Kyo had went with them claiming 'He had nothing better to do' anyways. But then, that left him here, alone.  
  
He let out a slight whimper; much like a dog would, as he turned behind him to look back at the dark room. He seemed to always be alone as of late. The others that lived with him seemed to always be too busy, or have plans that kept them out of the house. He no longer had any friends or visitors over; except for the newspaper boy who came to drop off his paper everyday. But he didn't even show up anymore ('Because I didn't bother to pay for the papers this month'), so mainly, he was usually only in the company of himself.  
  
Weakly, Shigure rose to his feet, grabbing onto the back of the chair to balance himself for a moment. When his bare feet had hit the cold floor a shiver ran up his spine, and he quickly started the, what seemed to be, long journey to the kitchen. Slowly, step-by-step, he walked into the kitchen. When he got there he walked over to the refrigerator, where he pulled open the door, only to have to blink a few times to adjust his eyes to the bright light which escaped from it. After his eyes had adjusted though, a small frown appeared on his face. All that was left in the refrigerator was two bottles of water, some left-over Miso soup (which he had seen in there last week as well, so dared not to touch), a stick of butter, and blueberries. He shook his head, and closed the door again. He already knew that it would be no use in checking the cabinets, for they had been bare for almost a week now, on his last hunt for food.  
  
Lowering his eyes, he shuffled slowly over to the front door. Beside it sat his shoes, which were piled under others, for not having been worn in such a long while. He kneeled onto the ground and dug them out from the pile, and carefully slipped them on his feet. Standing up he moves his foot slightly, only to have his shoes slide down his heel about half way. Having very narrow ankles was a problem, for he could never find shoes that fit him well enough. He had ended up settling for these ones, for they had a thicker sole, so his feet wouldn't slide around as much as if they didn't.  
  
Standing back on his feet he reached over to the coat rack to get his coat, only to stop his hand in mid air when he found that it was piled beneath many others, once again for not having been worn recently. Deciding not to struggle through all the thick winter coats, he shook his head and tightened his robe around himself, moving his hands into opposite sleeves to keep the chill off of them slightly.  
  
Taking in a deep breath he opened the door, only to have a gust of wind blow in snowflakes, which some settled before melting on the floor. He shivered slightly and then stepped out of the house into the cold night.  
  
- - -  
  
Minutes seemed to pass like hours, but finally Shigure had made it to his destination; the convenience store. He pushed open the door, only to have a welcoming chime above the door welcome his presence. The warmth of the store surrounded his form, and made him shiver, though it felt good this time. He knew, right then, that he wouldn't mind staying here for the rest of the night, though he knew that he couldn't.  
  
Sighing he walked further into the store, dusting off snowflakes that still clung to him as he did so. But then something caught his eye, and he stopped dead in his tracks and turned to his left. On a small shelf in front of the register were Valentines Day chocolates, all of them now priced down by 75%. A grin spread across his face. Chocolate, it was one of his most favourite things to eat. He had not eaten any for months now, and he knew that he was long overdue for some. He walked over to the shelf and looked through the variety and boxes when his gaze landed on one particular piece of the candy.  
  
It was a small heart-shaped chocolate, no bigger that half of his fist, with a white chocolate dragon imprinted on the front. This caused a light smile to form across his lips. The first thing he though of when he saw it was one of his best friends, Hatori Sohma; the doctor whom he was no longer in contact with. He had tried to visit him countless times, but Hatori seemed to be too caught up in his work to give him a second glance and tell him that maybe they could 'Get together next week on something.' Those words had been said to him numerous times, and when he heard them, he left as he muttered a quiet goodbye, without receiving an answer.  
  
His smile had now faded at that memory, but still, he picked up the box that it was packaged in, and turned it over to see the price. It was originally 1640 yen. He quickly did the math in his head for the discount and sighed in defeat and figured that the total would come to somewhere around 1230 yen. He shook his head and reached into the pocked of his robe, to pull out a small stash of folded yen. He carefully counted it out and sighed. He only had 1300 yen on him, which meant that if he got the chocolate, he couldn't get anything else.  
  
He stomach gave a slight growl, which tempted him to go and get himself something to eat, but instead he found himself walking over to the register where an elderly man was standing there, smiling at him. Letting one instinct best over another he placed the chocolate on the counter and watched as the man scanned it and then pressed a button on the cash register. He looked at the screen and showed that the total came to 1230 yen, just as he had guessed.  
  
He looked down slightly and took the money from his pocket, and handed it to the man whom handed him his change. He put the coins in his pocket as well and took the bag off of the counter, muttering a "Thank you." to the man.  
  
He was hesitant to exit the doors, and enter the snow storm again, but knew that he would have to. He wished that he could just put time on hiatus for only a few more moments, so he could soak up as much warmth as possible, but that would not happen. He shook his head to himself and pushed open the door, only to hear the dismissing chime of the bell overhead once again.  
  
- - -  
  
This walk seemed to be even longer then the previous one. His toes were frozen, and his fingers numb. He had his head lowered, as to keep the snow out of his face. But the numbing of his body still didn't take away the nervousness that he was currently feeling. How was he to know that Hatori was even going to be home? Would he even want to see him? Would he once again, like every other time, be too busy with work to talk to him?  
  
He pushed all of those thoughts out of his head as he neared the large gates to that belonged to the Sohma house. This is the one place which he truly hated, and that was one emotion that he didn't have against many things. The only things that he really, truly hated were the Sohma House and blood. The Sohma House for the reason that it brought back many painful memories, which he wished would cease to haunt him.  
  
Lost in his thoughts he had not been watching where he was walking. Before he was able to comprehend what was happening, he saw the ground rising towards him, before he landed on his hands and knees.  
  
_ 'He had tripped up the steps to the gate of the Sohma house while chasing Ayame in their game of tag. Tears formed in his dark-coloured eyes as he attempted to stand back up. He wiped his hands off on the kimono that his mother made him wear, and then hissed slightly at the stinging that came from doing so. Slowly, he turned his hands over, only to see that they were scraped and bleeding from the stone stair that he had fallen on.  
  
Nausea come upon him and he looked down at the fabric of his clothing, and saw crimson smears from where he had wiped his hands on the white kimono. He chocked back the tears and nausea, but was unsuccessful and soon vomited onto the stairs, falling to his knees as he held his stomach. He was never able to stomach the sight of blood, and here it was, now on himself.  
  
After chocking down the burning substance that had once again risen up his throat, he stood up on unsteady legs. His body was trembling, and he tightly closed his eyes. That's when he had finally given up on trying to hold back the tears. First one trailed down from his eyes, and then another, until it was no use and he gave up completely, allowing the salty droplets to freely spill from his eyes.  
  
That's when he felt a hand on his shoulder and quickly spun around to come face to face with his other friend, Hatori. They were just about the same age, only about four months apart, Hatori being the older of the two. The older bow carefully reached over and gripped Shigures' wrist, bringing it closer to himself. Gently, he turned his hand over to inspect the scratches on the younger Sohmas' hand.  
  
Shigure once again felt the nausea creep up on him, but turned to face away, partially to stop the feeling, and partially out of disgrace in himself. He was embarrassed at himself, but not just for the feeling that he was going to be sick, but also that he had tripped up the stairs, been crying, and was wearing a girl's kimono. He knew that boys' shouldn't do any of those things, or that is what he had been led to believe from other boys his age. They had teased him about how he acted and dressed, and that only made his eyes well up with tears, which led to further taunting from the boys.'  
_  
Shigure was broken from the memory when he felt his eyes started to fill with tears. Memories of his childhood were so confusing to him. He felt happy that Hatori had been there, and later bandaged his hands, but his sadness came from the things that he remembered thinking then.  
  
He then rose to his feet and dusted the snow off of himself, and picked up his bag that the chocolate was in, before continuing through the open gates of the Sohma house. The doors weren't usually left open, but there had been times when he remembered when they were, but that was only when Akito was out. He grinned slightly, knowing now that he wouldn't have to deal with the head of his family now.  
  
He continued walking down the snowy paths in the Sohma House, which was more like a village he thought. He saw some lights on in few houses, one being Haru's house. He was tempted to visit, but thought differently after a few moments and continued on. After a couple of minutes he stopped in front of a house which was where some of his worst memories resided. No lights were on inside of the house, like there had not been any for the past fifteen years.  
  
He lowered his head for a minute and turned to walk away, before his ears caught the slight whisper of a woman, which sounded much like they had said 'Shigure'. He quickly looked back to the house.  
  
_'"What mommy?" A seven year old Shigure Sohma asked as he quickly sprinted over to his mother. His mother was a relevantly shorter woman, whom stood about 5'2'' and had dark brown coloured hair, and warm chocolate coloured eyes. Shigure and his mother looked nothing alike, except for their figures which were both petite and slim.  
Shigures' Mother, Atsuko, smiled to her son and affectionately stroked his hair, moving his bangs out of his eyes as she did so. "I got you a gift while I was out Shigure." She said and then handed the small boy a clothing box.  
  
Shigure continued smiling, even though the spark of happiness that had previously been in his eyes vanished. He already knew what the gift was as he started to open it. "A new kimono! Thanks mommy." He said and he pretended to be happy, for his mother would be happy.  
  
"Why don't you go try it on?" She questioned, and he quickly nodded and went into the house.'  
_  
Shigure sighed as he saw no one was there, but noticed that one of the windows was open. Had it been open for the past fifteen years? Or had some of the younger Sohmas' went to look for adventure? Hopefully it had not been the second, for that means they would've seen things that they shouldn't have.  
  
He looked down for a moment and then approached the house. He reached the front door and hesitantly reached for the doorknob, a chill flowing through his body as he touched the cold metal. He experimentally tried to turn the doorknob, only to see that it was unlocked. A sick feeling suddenly came to him, but he ignored it and pushed open the door anyways.  
  
_ 'The smell of Lavender and Jasmine teased his senses as he walked into the house. The first day of his seventh year of school had started that day and he had just arrived back at his house. "Mom, I'm home!" He loudly said into the quiet house as he took off his shoes and put them on the mat beside the door. He looked up the stairs near the door when he didn't receive an answer, and cocked his head to the side slightly. "Mom?"  
  
After once again not receiving an answer, he grew curious as to where his mother could be. He had seen her car in the driveway before he had come inside, and she said that she would make sure to be home when he got out of school.  
  
He carelessly dropped his bag near the stairs, flinching slightly at the 'thump' that echoed through the silent house when it hit the floor. He shook it off though, and started up the stairs quietly. He didn't know why he was almost sneaking, but it felt like the right thing to do at the moment, so that's what he continued to do.  
  
When he reached the top of the stairs he peered into his mothers' room and didn't see her in there. He was going to check in his room when he heard the water to the bathtub running. A small grin grew on his face and he quickly padded over to the bathroom. When he got there though, he stepped in something wet, which made him scrunch up his nose in disgust and look to the floor. He blinked a few times in confusion but then his eyes widened slightly. Did his mother leave the water running and left for a moment to go next door or something? He shook his head and quickly rapped on the door with his knuckles a few times and then pressed his ear to the door. Upon receiving no answer he grabbed hold of the doorknob and pushed open the door. What he saw will forever haunt him in his dreams.  
  
The water in the bathtub was running and overflowing onto the floor, but that isn't what scared him. In the tub was his mother, still in the clothing that he had seen her wearing when he had left that morning. Her head was partially underwater, but the water was a dark crimson colour, and cuts were on her wrists. His eyes widened and he covered his mouth, and closed his eyes, before he was sick on the floor. He gasped for air and tried to walk over, but once again vomited on the floor.  
  
His brain couldn't comprehend what was happening. Everything seemed to be spinning, making him too dizzy to hold on. He took another step toward the bathtub but then fell to his knees, becoming sick once again as his eyes watered. But before he knew it, he had slipped into unconciousness.'  
_  
Shigure found himself in the bathroom now, standing in the doorway. The doorway, it was the threshold to his worst childhood memory. He remembered waking up in the hospital the next day, and being told that his mother had committed suicide the previous day. He didn't understand, and had managed to convince himself that she wasn't dead, and was just playing a cruel joke on him. But as he got older that thought had drifted away, and he finally caved into the fact that she wouldn't be coming back.  
  
He stared at the floor where he could still see the bloodstains, as well as in the bathtub. His eyes didn't fill with tears this time though, and nausea didn't overtake him. He had wasted too many tears and become sick over this too many times. In his opinion, his mother didn't deserve his tears if she was willing to leave him like that.  
  
He turned away from the room and quietly shut the door before heading down the stairs that he never remembered climbing in the first place. He was about to walk out the door when he saw that the window was still open. He looked down and then padded over to it, quietly closing and then locking it. After he did that he took one more glance at the house before locking the door and closing it behind him.  
  
He started down the path again, lost in his thoughts and no longer worried about the cold or his nervousness that had been a problem earlier. Before he even noticed it he had reached the house that belonged to Hatori Sohma. He walked up the steps, not at all hesitant, and rung the doorbell.  
  
A few moments later the tired for of Hatori Sohma opened the door and let out an aggravated groan. "Its eleven o'clock at night, Shigure. What do you want?" He asked, stifling a yawn as he did so.  
  
Shigure was suddenly lost for words and looked down. He could feel Hatori's eyes boring into him as he waiting for an answer. Shigure took the bag and handed it to his friend. "Happy Valentines Day, Hatori." He said, smiling slightly as he looked up to the older male who had a confused look on his face as he took the bag. After he looked inside a smile graced his lips, and he forgot about his tiredness as he saw the chocolate. He looked at the box and grinned slightly before he smiled at Shigure. He stepped out of the door frame. "Come on, its cold out. Get inside." He said, and saw the dog-cursed man gleam with happiness, and quickly entered the warm house and striped himself of his shoes.  
  
"Do you like it?" He asked and grinned as he watched Hatori open the box and take a bite of the chocolate. The dragon merely nodded and then swallowed.  
  
"It's very good, Shigure. Thank you." He looked down after that for a moment. "Though, forgive me, I didn't get you anything. I was—"he was then cut off by the other who looked slightly downcast.  
  
"Too busy with work. I know. I've heard it enough times to remember." He said and looked away slightly, but then stiffened as he felt the other embrace him. Hatori wasn't the type of person to hug someone, even if it was a family member or friend. Shigure relaxed slightly in his arms, but then blushed slightly when his stomach growled, as it had earlier.  
  
Hatori chuckled and took another small bite of the chocolate. "Hungry Shii-chan? Want some chocolate?" He asked the dog, whom he still noticed had a blush across his cheeks. He didn't remember if he had ever seen Shigure blush, but it made him seem; cute, if that word could be used when talking about his friend.  
  
Shigure nodded to Hatori, and looked down before taking a step foreword, and in one swift motion pressed his lips against the other mans. Hatori stiffened visibly when he felt Shigure's tongue trace his bottom lips, as if asking to be allowed in, and without comprehending what he was doing, he parted his lips slightly.  
  
After a few moments Shigure pulled away, taking in a breath that he had involuntarily been holding. He smiled and licked his top lip, causing Hatori to have his turn in blushing. "Your right, very good chocolate Ha- chan. Though, I'm still hungry." He grinned the mischievous dog-like grin of his to Hatori. "Can I have some more?"  
  
Hatori didn't respond at first but then silently nodded and Shigure smiled. He took Hatori by the hand and slowly led him over to the couch. "I wish everyday was Valentines Day now, Ha-chan."

- - -

Authors Note: Please forgive any spelling or grammer mistakes the I may still have in this fanfic. This is the first fanfic that I've attempted to write, let alone the first one in english (my native language is German) and I tried the best I could. Well, please be so kind as to review.


End file.
